Crosswalk Empire

OK, I'll slow down and let them get safely across the street if I'm driving along and I see the Beatles are about to cross Abbey Road.

OK, I’ll slow down and let them get safely across the street if I’m driving along and I see the Beatles are about to cross Abbey Road.

Today’s pet peeve: Pedestrians who don’t cross streets at crosswalks. More specifically: Pedestrians who cross the street any damned where they feel like crossing or cross at the crosswalk when the WALK/DON’T WALK sign says DON’T WALK.

I don’t know if this is an issue all around the world — in fact, come to think of it, I know it’s not, based on a Travel Channel piece I happened to watch last night. The host of the episode was riding in the open top deck of a double-decker bus as it sped down a pitted dirt road in Bangla Desh. She was holding on for dear life and people in the way of the bus were just SCATTERING like in that old “Little Rascals” in which the Rascals in the homemade vehicle were in that downhill race with that brattty rich kid in his store-bought Soap Box Derby kind of car and adults who got in the way just went FLYING and SPINNING up in the air as they shouted “WHOA!” and “HEY!”

Well, I’d like to see a little more of that here — “here,” these days, meaning the places where I’ve been spending my time, in Massachusetts and New York and New Jersey. All three states, a few years back, started fining motorists who didn’t stop when they saw a pedestrian stepping out into a crosswalk.

This was, of course, not a bad idea, and maybe it was even a good idea. Too many speeding or distracted or psychotic drivers were turning pedestrian crossings into a race for survival — something like ”Road Rash,” a video game my son and I used to play, in which motorcyclists raced through town and countryside and tried to improve their position in the race by whacking their fellow bikers with chains and clubs in an attempt to knock them off their Harleys.

But people have taken advantage of the new crosswalk laws . And so it’s time for police to start issuing tickets for…I know it’s an unenlightened and old-fashioned retro concept…but I’m tired of slamming on my brakes every time some dodo decides to step out into the crosswalk even though I’m five feet away from the intersection…or even though the flashing sign says DON’T WALK…

It’s time to tip the balance back the other way. It’s time for police to start handing out tickets for JAYWALKING.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s nearly Spring –”Rip” ends his winter slumber

Set your alarm clocks for Thursday, March 22, at 7 p.m.

After slipping into some sort of slumber since I did a reading and book-signing in January at the public library in Tarrytown, N.Y., hometown of Washington Irving himself, “Rip” and its author will be back in “circulation” this week at the Pollard Memorial Library, 401 Merrimack Street,  in Lowell, Mass.

The free event begins at 7 and should last until about 8 p.m. I’ll talk a bit about my longtime affection for Washington Irving’s writing, I’ll chat a little about how I came to write my modern-day parody of “Rip Van Winkle,” I’ll read sample chapters from the book, I’ll take questions from the audience, and I’ll sign copies of the book, which will be available for purchase at the event. (I might also have something to say about Lowell native Jack Kerouac — his presence still permeates this gritty city, which just spent a couple of weeks celebrating what would have been the great writer’s 90th birthday).

I hope you’ll try to make it — that you’ll bring a friend (or friends) — and that you’ll help spread the word by passing this around to anyone and everyone within range of Lowell who you think might enjoy the book and the reading.

Here’s what the library’s website saying about the event:

The Pollard is excited to welcome local author Nicholas DiGiovanni to read from his novella “Rip”. Imagine Washington Irving sitting down for a friendly drink and spinning yarns with Kurt Vonnegut and Thomas Pynchon, and you’ll get an idea of the flavor of “Rip,” DiGiovanni’s satirical retelling of Irving’s venerable story about ne’er-do-well Rip van Winkle. DiGiovanni brings Rip van Winkle into the Sixties, finds him gainful employment as a toll-taker on the Tappan Zee Bridge, and makes his long suffering wife a charter member in the feminist movement just starting to sweep the country. There’s a lot more packed into this story, but you’ll just have to read it for yourself. Suffice to say that once you’re done, you’ll understand why novelist Christian Bauman (In Hoboken, The Ice Beneath You) calls DiGiovanni “a master storyteller.” So come on down to this free reading and get your copy of Rip signed by the author.

Here are directions to the library:

Take I-95 or Route 3 to the Lowell Connector. Take exit 5B to merge onto 3A N/Thorndike Street. Continue on Thorndike Street as it changes to Dutton Street. Turn left onto Market St. Turn right on Cardinal O’Connell Parkway. Turn left onto Merrimack Street. Library will be on the right—a large granite building with “Memorial Hall” etched in the side. The library is next door to City Hall, another large granite building with a clock tower.

Here’s information about parking (note that if you parked in a metered space outside the library, you don’t have to pay after 6 p.m.):

The library has a free 2-hour parking lot on the corner of Moody and Colburn St. To access this lot, head north up Merrimack Street past the Library, turn right onto Cabot Street. Then turn right onto Moody Street. Follow Moody Street all the way back down to the library. The lot is on the corner as Moody turns onto Colburn Street (across from the Lowell Fire Station). There is handicapped parking on Merrimack Street in front of the library. There is also on-street metered/kiosk parking available around the library. Meter/kiosk parking fees are in effect 8am-6pm Monday-Saturday.

The meeting room where I’ll be reading is on the Moody Street/Coburn Street side of the building, the entrance right across the street from the library parking lot. If you enter through the front door, just head to the main desk and they’ll direct you to where I’m reading.

Thanks! I’ll be hoping to see a lot of friends, old and new, at Lowell’s Pollard Memorial Library on Thursday evening!

Washington (Irving) and Rip Van Winkle slept here!

I’m really looking forward to a pair of upcoming events:

On Thursday, January 26th, at 7 p.m., I’ll be at the Warner Library in Tarrytown, N.Y., reading from and talking about “Rip,” my modern-day parody of Washington Irving’s “Rip Van Winkle.”

In his later years, Irving lived at Sunnyside, his home on the Hudson River in Tarrytown. Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, made famous in Irving’s take of the Headless Horseman, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” is in Tarrytown. And the Rip character in my send-up of the original works as a toll collector on the Tappan Zee Bridge, which is nearby the Warner Library.

Try to make it if you’re in the New York-New Jersey-Connecticut area. Admission is free. Books will be available for purchase and I’ll be available to sign copies.

Soon after spring’s sprung — on Saturday, March 31, at 2 p.m., I’ll be a guest of the Washington Irving Inn in Tannersvlle, N.Y. right in the heart of the Catskills, where ol’ Rip Van Winkle took his fateful nap. I’ll be reading from “Rip,” and talking about about both Washington Irving and how I came to write a parody of one of his most beloved and famous works. The inn’s website is www.washingtonirving.com

To read more about the book, visit www.blackangelpress.com

To order the book (either the actual book or the Kindle edition), go to http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_11/180-2933089-2944910?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=digiovanni+rip&sprefix=digiovanni+%2Caps%2C248

 

 

Don’t get caught napping! “Rip” now available as Kindle edition

Hooray! My short novel, “Rip,” a 20th-century parody of “Rip Van Winkle” (Rip is a toll collector on the Tappan Zee Bridge in Tarrytown…he and his ne’er-do-well friends, the Sleepy Hollow Boys, do battle with a group of feminists who take up the cause of Rip’s wife….) is now (finally!) available as a Kindle edition.

Here’s the link to obtaining a million dollars worth of laughs for just $4.99….That’s less than a Big Mac Meal….Way less than going to the movies…Less than (can you believe it?) the Sunday New York Times…In other words, don’t get caught napping like old Rip Van Winkle — buy your Kindle edition now!

http://www.amazon.com/Rip-ebook/dp/B006VOS6AU/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1326222972&sr=8-2

Great writing! Great price! Great holiday gift!

My novel “Rip,” a parody of Washington Irving’s classic “Rip Van Winkle,” is available at these locations:

Nighthawk Books, 212 Raritan Ave., Highland Park, N.J.
Book Garden, 26 Bridge Street, Frenchtown, N.J.
Half Moon Books, 35 North Front St., Kingston, N.Y.
Whimsies Incognito, 35 South Broadway, Tarrytown, N.Y.
Market St. Market, 95 Market St., Lowell, Mass.

If you don’t live in the vicinity of one of these stores, you can order “Rip” online:

Great holiday gift (perfect stocking stuffer for the readers on your gift list)! Great price (just $12.95)!

Amazing! My book’s on Amazon!

My novella “Rip,” the funniest book since Dick Cheney’s autobiography, is now available for purchase through Amazon! (It’s only available in print form at the moment; Kindle edition should be available within a few days).

It isn’t just a great work of humor/satire/parody/stock market tips/advice to the lovelorn/travel writing/political analysis/historical fiction/zombie lore/fashion forecasts.

It’s also only $12.95, about the price of a large pizza (without toppings), which means “Rip” is the perfect Christmas gift for your more bookish friends, who will (if they find my book under their tree or in their stocking which they’ve hung by their chimney with care in hopes that Nicholas DiGiovanni’s “Rip” will be there) think that you are right on the cutting edge of American, nay, world literature.

They will be wrong, of course, but let’s indulge them (and me) in this nice fantasy!

Here’s what Black Angel Press publisher Steven Hart had to say about “Rip” —

RIP VAN WINKLE MEETS THE SIXTIES (AND FEMINISM)
IN A HILARIOUS RETELLING OF WASHINGTON IRVING’S VENERABLE TALE

Imagine Washington Irving sitting down for a friendly drink and spinning yarns with Kurt Vonnegut and Thomas Pynchon, and you’ll get an idea of the flavor of Rip, Nicholas DiGiovanni’s satirical retelling of Irving’s venerable story about ne’er-do-well Rip van Winkle.

DiGiovanni brings Rip van Winkle into the Sixties, finds him gainful employment as a toll-taker on the Tappan Zee Bridge, and makes his long suffering wife a charter member in the feminist movement just starting to sweep the country.

There’s a lot more packed into this story, but you’ll just have to read it for yourself. Suffice to say that once you’re done, you’ll understand why novelist Christian Bauman (In Hoboken, The Ice Beneath You) calls DiGiovanni “a master storyteller.”

This handsomely produced Black Angel Press edition includes the full text of Washington Irving’s original tale, giving readers the chance to savor two great storytellers at once.

Visit www.blackangelpress.com and you’ll find a link to order the book through Amazon. You’ll also find links to “About the Author,” “About the Book” and “About Black Angel Press,” as well as information about other Black Angel titles.

17…16…15…the countdown begins in “Rip” campaign

The days are slipping away — just 17 of them remain for folks to make pledges toward the kickstarter.com campaign to help fund publication of my humorous novella “Rip,” a modern-day “retelling” of the classic Rip van Winkle story, which is scheduled for publication and release in early November by Steve Hart’s literary imprint , Black Angel Press, which will also be publishing my novella “The Dogs of Arroyo.”

Please go to my “Rip” page at kickstarter for information about how you can quickly and painlessly make a pledge. In return, you’ll get a reward, ranging from $15 for a copy of the book to $30 for a signed copy to as much as $250 to have a minor character in the story renamed after you!

We’re halfway there but still $600 short of the goal. So please consider joining our effort.

Meanwhile….

I confess. I’m an optimist (or overly optimistic, take your pick). So I’m already scheduling book-signings and readings for “Rip” as well as my other Black Angel Press novella, “The Dogs of Arroyo.”

And I’ve got three events scheduled already!

The first: On Sunday, Sept. 25, as part of an outdoor townwide arts event in Highland Park, N.J., I’ll be reading from both novellas at Steve Hart’s Nighthawk Books on Raritan Avenue. Time will be announced.

Sometime in early November, if all goes according to plan, there will be a book(s) debut and signing at Nighthawk to celebrate publication of the two books.

Then, on Nov., 19, from 2 to 4 p.m., I’ll be back in my old stomping grounds, for a reading/signing for both books at Book Garden on Bridge Street in Frenchtown.

On Dec. 3, I’ll be appearing from 5 to 7 p.m. at Half Moon Books in Kingston, N.Y., up there on the Hudson River opposite Beacon, N.Y.

Still in the works: Possible appearances at Bruised Apple Books in Peekskill, N.Y., and Golden Note Books in Woodstock, N.Y., both for “Rip,” and Raconteur Books in Metuchen, N.J., for both “Rip” and “Dogs,” and — here’s one I’m really hoping pans out — a possible “Rip” reading at the amazing Dia art museum along the Hudson in Beacon.

I’ll keep everyone posted as more appearances are scheduled.

Is it tweeting on Twitter or twitting on Tweeter?

As part of marketing plans for my novellas “Rip” (a modern-day parody of “Rip van Winkle”) and “The Dogs of Arroyo” (a spooky and surreal parable set in Puerto Rico) which both have a publication target date of November 15, I’ve started a Twitter feed.

So, if you’re a tweeter or a reader of tweets (to paraphrase either Shakespeare or Groucho, I forget which), and would be kind enough to “follow” my tweets (does that sound funny to you, too?!), you’ll find updates about the status of both projects — and other writing-related matters — at @nidigiovanni as well as at @vcca, which is the feed for Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, which has kindly offered (and has already begun) to publicize the books, which are being published by a new independent publisher, Black Angel Press.

More information is and will be available, too, via this blogsite as well as at kickstarter.com and blackangelpress.com

Off to a pretty good (kick)start

Don't let this happen to me -- awakening from a long and troubled slumber to find that not enough people pledged to help support publication of "Rip," my hilarious modern-day "retelling" of Washington Irving's classic "Rip van Winkle!"

Just four days after launching my kickerstarter.com project — seeking $1,200 in funding from backers to publish my novella “Rip,” a satirical (and incredibly funny and remarkably witty) modern-day “retelling” of Washington Irving’s classic “Rip van Winkle” — we’re already just shy of 20 percent of the goal.

Thanks! Please keep on pledging…or consider pledging if you haven’t yet…especially if you’re the trend-setting type who likes to get in on the ground floor of publication of what will someday be hailed as an literary classic so that you can brag about it about it at fancy cocktail parties or at informal neighborhood barbecues (I don’t care which platform you choose, just so you talk about the book).

You can be part of American literary history by pledging as little as $1, although I’d encourage would-be backers to pledge at least enough to earn one of the pledge “rewards” which range from a copy of the book to a signed copy of the opening pages of the manuscript to having a minor character in the book named after you (I’d recommend having your name assigned to one of the toll collectors who work with Rip on the Tappan Zee Bridge in Tarrytown — or perhaps one of the feminists who take up the cause of Rip’s wife).

Here’s a few things to keep in mind. Payment of pledges is safe and secure. When you click on the tab to make a pledge, I’m told, you’re asked to create a kickstarter “account,” which basically means entering your email address (so you can be notified when the funding goal is reached and so you can receive your pledge “reward”) and a user name. After that, the payment via credit or debit card is through an account I’ve set up with Amazon with kickstarter.

Your card is not charged or debited until the funding goal is reached – if it’s not reached, then all pledges are wiped off the slate and I will head off to the Catskill Mountains with my trusty dog and my blunderbuss, and I will drink a mysterious grog forced upon me by little Dutchmen, and I will sleep for many years and then awaken to find that my incredibly funny and remarkably witty novella “Rip” still hasn’t been published.

To read more about the project, visit http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/858629110/publication-of-rip-a-parody-of-the-rip-van-winkle

A sprightly tale…(or letting it “Rip”)

I’m planning to collaborate with friend Steve Hart to publish my humorous novella “Rip,” through his new New Jersey-based literary imprint, Black Angel Press.

And I’ve decided to pursue a new and innovative way to come up with funding for the project — check out www.kickstarter.com, which matches up donors with worthy creative projects.

It will cost an estimated $1,200 to hire a cover artist and a book designer and to pay the printer/publisher for 50 initial copies of the book, a print-on-demand ordering system through the Black Angel website (and amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com) and electronic editions of the book (including Kindle).

So if anyone reading this has friends named, um, Carnegie and Gates and Rockefeller and Buffett, and tell them about this great book and this innovative funding effort (it’s had lots of success, was written up recently in major media, and was used to raise funds for a book tour by another Black Angel Press author and to help finance the first CD recorded by my son’s friends’ band The Day’s Weight).

Donations, done through an Amazon account, can be as little as one dollar.

If you want to tell your billionaire friends about the book, here’s a brief description:
It’s the late 1960s and Rip is a toll collector on the Tappan Zee Bridge at Tarrytown, Washington Irving’s hometown and the locale of his other famous story, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. The modern-day Rip is as complacent and lazy as ever; he spends most of his free time at a bar called the Sunnyside Tavern, where he hangs with a group of ne’er do well friends who call themselves the Sleepy Hollow Boys. Rip’s wife, portrayed so unfairly in the original story as a one-dimensional shrew whose relentless nagging compels her husband to take to the hills, is treated more evenly in this latter-day retelling — as her cause is taken up by a feminist group, led by the head of the Women’s Studies Department at Vassar, Lilith B. Anthony, whose members try to infiltrate the men-only Sunnyside Tavern and do battle with the Sleepy Hollow Boys.

Andrew Burstein, author of The Original Knickerbocker: The Life of Washington Irving, offered this praise after reading the manuscript of “Rip” —

“I don’t think that Washington Irving, America’s first great satirist, would mind that someone had decided to rouse him after so many years of placid entombment and allow him to experience the faded glory of the 1960s. In his iconic farce of 1809, Knickerbocker’s History, Irving pushed the limits of absurdity. Nicholas DiGiovanni has done the same here, mocking the mock-historian. In Rip, he has Irving’s idle hero set aside his fowling piece and become a toll taker on the Tappan Zee Bridge. It is, to paraphrase Irving, a sprightly tale.”

If you want to tell your billionaire friends where they can help fund this sprightly project, direct them this to this link:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/858629110/publication-of-rip-a-parody-of-the-rip-van-winkle

This site tells more about the project and details the funding options available through an Amazon account, ranging from $1 to $15 (the reward is a copy of the book) to $30 (the reward is a SIGNED copy of the book) right up to $250 (the reward is having a minor character in the novella NAMED AFTER THE DONOR!).

Thanks for spreading the word. The manuscript is ready to roll after I do one more careful read and editi. A book designer and cover artist has been brought into the project. Steve’s ready and waiting to add “Rip” to his roster of books (check out the website www.blackangelpress.com). And I’m already endeavouring to schedule book-signings and readings at bookstores and other venues up and down the Hudson River Valley. I’ll keep everyone up-to-date on the progress of the book.

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